


They Had Thing

by oceania



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Clueless!John, First Kiss, M/M, bisexual!Ronon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 22:19:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceania/pseuds/oceania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt "Blast from the Past" for TeamSpace on LJ.</p><p>John comes to terms with things he didn't know about Rodney and himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Had Thing

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my amazing beta and BFF: Campylobacter
> 
> John's internal dialogue is in italics.

John hated this part of his new job. It required a speech. He hated giving speeches. Every leader of the Atlantis expedition had given welcome speeches to the new batch of recruits. He smirked awkwardly as he looked out at the fresh crop of excited scientists and bright-faced military personnel. The Marines were trying for stoic but managed only to look awed. The pilots were barely out of puberty and John made a note to requisition some _Proactiv_ as a joke on Lorne. He surveyed them from his position on the balcony before heading down the stairs. Without exception, they were gawking in amazement, mouths hanging open and oblivious as their luggage and equipment arrived in glowing light around them.

_Oh boy, Rodney is going to hate this bunch of greenhorns._

John stood on the raised platform and cleared his throat before he began—gathering his inner Elizabeth—

“Welcome to Atlantis…….quarters assigned….orientation led by the Department Heads or Commanding Officers….happy to have you aboard….exciting new exploration to be done in the galaxy…” He finished with a wide smile and felt stupid standing and smiling. He felt even more ridiculous mingling and glad-handing strangers as the large group milled about, chatting with the _official welcoming committee_.

As John extricated himself from an awkward and oddly formal conversation with a Swedish linguist, a tall blond in the Science Division’s uniform—known as “Lantean geek wear”—strode confidently towards John. He was Russian: that much was easily discernible by the patch on his shoulder. He was also built like a Navy SEAL and had the swagger of---

An astronaut—cosmonaut-- as the special patch on his uniform proclaimed.

“Colonel Sheppard! Dr. Yakov Aleksandrovich Volkov reporting for duty, sir!” He mock saluted, before thrusting his enormous hand out, demanding a handshake.

_Cocky bastard._

John took the proffered hand and winced slightly as his hand was squeezed tightly. He returned the favour by intentionally exerting force on the taller man’s pinky. “It is so great to have you join our little community, Commander.”

“Yes, it is what I think too. I hope we will be as friends. But I am no longer Commander, just Doctor.”

John smiled non-committally. “Well—if you’ll excus--”

Suddenly, a familiar, and not unwelcome, voice cut through the jumbled din, “Yasha? Oh my god, it’s you! Yasha!” Rodney was thundering down the staircase and fairly leaping toward the two of them. He arrived only seconds later, eager and flush-faced. “I had no idea they were sending you. Oh my God! Yasha!” He threw himself into the man’s arms and was welcomed most whole-heartedly.

“Rodya, we surprised you, yes? Radek and I?

_Rodney actually delegated personnel hiring to Zelenka? Since when?_

John noted that the welcome hug had gone on far longer than was appropriate. “I have missed you so,” the Russian cooed, holding Rodney’s face in his massive hands as they smiled goofily at one other. “Oh Rodya, you look good,” he murmured before pulling Rodney close again, until the two of them stood foreheads together in silent communion.

_What the fuck? Seriously?_

Radek appeared next, seemingly out of thin air, coughing loudly and startling the conjoined men into separating at last. “Is good to see you Yakov! You are well yes? Not too bad a trip?”

Rodney was flummoxed. “I’m confused, how do you know Dr. Volkov?”

“We were all together in Russia Rodney!” Zelenka laughed. He went on, “Yasha, Rodney does not remember that I was with team in Siberia. I tell him often but he has no memory of anyone but you. Is right, isn’t it Rodney?”

“I just didn’t know you knew Yasha!” Rodney stammered. What followed was an animated conversation, complete with flailing hands and judging by the laughter, many shared jokes.

In Russian. Flawless Russian.

John interrupted, “You speak Russian, McKay? Aren’t you just full of surprises?”

“And this is a surprise? How exactly? I spent four years there. And duh…genius here. I picked it up.”

“Well okay then. That’s good,” John responded sheepishly, to no one in particular.

Rodney was back in the adoring arms of “Yasha”, laughing and blushing.

 

“They had thing.” Zelenka whispered conspiratorially.

John jumped. “Jesus Zelenka, what have I told you about that stealth thing you do? Wait, what? A thing? What kind of a thing?”

Radek laughed, “A thing thing. Yasha and Rodney had open affair, Colonel. Was quite a scandal in Russian papers. Big gay Cosmonaut. Was national uproar when he was made to leave program.”

“Russians allow gays to serve in their military, so what was the big deal?”

“No. In 2003, law was changed because of the people’s support for Yakov and Rodney. Rodney was huge in press. Yasha was big hero of Russian space agency. He became civilian cosmonaut and after, law was changed.”

John bristled a little. Even after its repeal, DADT still embarrassed him.

Zelenka continued, “The affair ended only because Rodney was sent to Antarctica for Pegasus Project.”

Although they had moved somewhat away from the lovers’ reunion, the babble of Russian was still readily heard. “Shall I translate for you? Is shits and giggles, no?”

_No_

“Sure.”

“Behind pillar is better.”

“Whatever.”

John felt only vaguely guilty for straining to hear the animated conversation between Rodney and his blond Adonis of a boyfriend.

_Boyfriend? What the fuck? Rodney is bisexual?????_

John pondered why his was always the last one to know anything. It irked. He should know these things about the people he was in charge of. But he’d never bothered to read any of the “founders” files. Well, he’d get to it eventually. Maybe.

“What are they talking about?”

Radek smiled and began, “Rodney is talking about physics and claiming credit for discoveries…”

_The flapping hands and upturned chin should have been a clue _.__

“Yasha is saying, ‘You are more beautiful than ever my darling…’ Russians are very passionate people, Colonel.” Radek explained.

John steadied himself against the pillar.

_Are you fucking kidding me?_

“Rodney is telling Yasha, ‘You are ridiculous, I have no hair left.’”

Yakov then began to run his hands and fingers through Rodney’s hair and stroked his bald spot with the tip of his index finger.

“He says, ‘You are my delicious’ no that’s not right. ‘You are my delight and my soul’ and Rodney say, ‘Ummm…that’s very nice to hear.’”

John made a gagging noise. “Jesus, this is nauseating.”

“Hush, I told you this was passionate love affair. Oh my, I think it wrong to tell you what Yasha has said.” Radek’s face coloured and he coughed nervously.

“Tell me.”

“Yasha has suggested he wants to…oh dear…how to say in English? ‘Make love all over your body’?”

John swallowed. “For fuck’s sake Zelenka!”

“Shhhh! Rodney is saying something. No, is not fit to repeat. We must leave them alone Colonel Sheppard. Is not funny anymore. And anyway, they are kissing and making spectacle of themselves--again.”  
Zelenka stomped off muttering under his breath in Czech.

The public display of Russian passion continued. After initially attracting some raised eyebrows, the rest of the people in the embarkation room now seemed oblivious and continued the process of gathering their belongings and heading off to their new quarters.

John however, stood rooted to the spot. Disbelief quickly turned to anger. This was surely conduct unbecoming. And as the new Leader of Atlantis, it fell to him to maintain some semblance of decorum. And Rodney was a senior Department Head! He had never behaved this way—even when he was with Jennifer!

_I’m being punked!_

John threw up his hands and laughed, “Okay you two, I get it! Now knock it off. You got me! Good one McKay! I guess I had it coming after the stunt I pulled with the jumper controls…”

Rodney pulled back abruptly from Yakov, “Oh my god, Colonel! I’m so sorry. This—this—um”. He gestured wildly between him and Volkov, “This is not—we haven’t seen each other since I left Siberia. I didn’t—well, yes—so. I am so sorry, John. I—god—sorry.”

Rodney McKay was turning purple. And sporting an impressive erection if John had to guess.

_Jesus, will you look at that?_

“Yashen'ka, let’s find your quarters and get you settled?” Rodney said softly.

“Da Rodyen’ka.” He turned to John, “My apologies Colonel Sheppard, is my fault. Rodya has always brought out, how you say, the ‘beast’ in me? And you can not blame me, nyet? He is sexiest man.”

_Yes. Wait, what?!_

John offered no acceptance of the apology. “If you two lovebirds would excuse me, I have a city to run. Dr. McKay? If you can make yourself available in half an hour? I want to review the new personnel with you.”

John turned on his heel and fled toward his office. He glared at the smirking faces of the ‘gate personnel with such ferocity that even Chuck’s freckles drained of colour. When he passed Ronon, doubled up with laughter, he lost all semblance of control.

_Fuck! Ronon’s here. Oh and Teyla. Just fucking great!_

He pushed past them both, growling, “Not a word! Not a fucking word!” He saw the expression on Teyla’s face and was ashamed of how much he wanted to kill her and her fucking empathy.

“John,” she called and followed him into his office before he had a chance to lock himself in.

“Teyla,” John sighed wearily.

“You are upset by Rodney’s behaviour. Do you wish to talk about it?”

“No!”

“John?”

_Please go_

“John,” she repeated again.  
He glared at her, willing her to leave.

“Did you know?” he asked finally.

“You did not?”

“Nope.”

“And this upsets you?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“Dunno.”

“Yes, you do.”

_I don’t need your pity._

John was slowly deflating, “I’m his best friend. He should have told me.”

Teyla smiled, “I believe he thought you knew.”

“Well, I didn’t!” John was becoming petulant.

“Does it matter?” Teyla asked gently. “Does it change anything?”

“Yes! I mean no! But yes, it does. It would’ve changed everything. I would’ve--”

_What? What would you have done Sheppard?_

“I see,” Teyla smiled, a little too knowingly for John’s taste.

“Well, I didn’t see.”

_It’s too fucking late to do anything about it now._

Telya smiled again, “I suspect he never ‘saw’ either. Although Ronon and I always did. And Elizabeth. She always knew.”

_Why didn’t she ever tell me?_

John felt an odd weight lift from him, “She knew what I never knew?”

“You may not have known about Rodney but you knew about your own feelings.” Teyla’s eye contact was beginning to annoy the hell out of John.

“I didn’t know! Not till—till he was shoving his tongue—I didn’t know!”

_I knew._

“Oh John, suppression isn’t the same as repression and you know it. Just be honest. How do you feel? What do you want?”

 “I’m just going to--” John waved his hand at the stack of paperwork on his desk.

“Yes Colonel,” Teyla smiled.

John pulled up Rodney’s personnel file on his computer, and began with the initial application to the Pegasus Project. Yep, there it was. Sexual orientation (optional): bisexual. Normally such questions would have been illegal, but for the kind of security clearance handed out to SGC employees? Well, full disclosure was expected. Except from the military. No one _asked._

He scanned the rest of the application, laughing out loud when he read Rodney’s answer to ‘religion’. He’d typed “Seriously?” across all the major religions and then written “SCIENCE, you morons” in the spot for ‘other’ was. In the section devoted to ‘Hobbies’, Rodney had a list of over 100 things. The first 90 were work-related. Sort of. They ranged from “Splitting Atoms” to “Yucking it up over other Physicists’ errors”. The last ten were more interesting to John since all but one of them he and Rodney had enjoyed together.  
91\. Chess. Although I have yet to find a worthy opponent.  
92\. Small Engines. Preferably ones I can make bigger.  
93\. Dr. Who  
94\. Star Trek  
95\. Computer Games. I have yet to find one that has challenged me even remotely.  
96\. Comics, especially Batman. Yes, the Science Geek reads comics.  
97\. Internet Porn.  
98\. Coffee. The good kind. Not that shit they serve in Russia.  
99\. Chocolate. The good kind. Not that shit they serve in the States.  
100\. Astronomy. You know, the non-sciencey gazing at the stars kind.

At the bottom of the page, it said the following: “I don’t know why you are making me fill out this bullshit. You know I’m the only person smart enough to do the job! And that includes you, Major Carter.”

Apparently, Colonel Carter was involved in the selection process. John laughed again. Rodney had issues. Has issues.

_You have more._

John wondered if that list had expanded to include hand-to-hand combat and target practice. He also wondered how many of those things he and Dr. Voltage had done together.

__They were too busy having sex._ _

He was so preoccupied, John barely noticed the bell announcing the arrival of Rodney at his office door.

“Colonel, could you please unlock this damn door and spare me the trouble of overriding your pathetic lock code?”

He unlocked the door, not with his mind as so many thought he could, but with a voice command. “Come!” He’d had Rodney set up the door to operate just like Jean-Luc Picard’s. They’d always found that terrifically funny and he’d made Rodney spray beer out his nose by suggesting that it was useful when the Captain was fucking Riker into submission.

“Colonel Sheppard, might I suggest you change your access code to something OTHER than 69? Half the genius Marines use that one. And really? What are you, fourteen?”

John scowled, “Yes, Rodney. That’s exactly the most important thing we need to discuss!”

Rodney threw himself into the soft leather chair in front of John’s desk. It made a whoosh-fart noise that both of them dutifully ignored. John had thought about replacing the chair but it amused him too much. Normally. Today it just added to the tension.

Rodney squirmed in the chair, and began to speak, flustered and almost hysterically. “Look John, I’m sorry. It was inappropriate and way too--:” He waved his hands as if he could pull words out of the air. He finally just gave up and sat there with his mouth opening and closing unconsciously.

John finally took pity on him.

“Forget about it Rodney. I guess it was more a case of TMI than anything else.”

__Too much tongue actually_ _

“And I can’t really condone such a display when you’re on duty.”

__Not with your Yakobooboo anyway._ _

Rodney blushed again, the pink starting at his ears. Which John found himself smiling at because it was cute. “You find my misery amusing Colonel?” he snapped. “I’m so fucking embarrassed!”

 _“ _You’re_ _ embarrassed _?”_

_“Yes.”_

“I bet I feel worse! I’m still reeling from the shock and feeling nauseated from the whole lovey dovey act.” John was angry again and he glared at Rodney to prove it.

“Really? You’re in shock?”

“I didn’t know you were a switch hitter Rodney.”

“WHAT? Everyone knows that. Fuck! It’s in my file. And, well honestly John, EVERYONE knows after five minutes with me. Fucking Ronon figured out when I was hanging upside down from a tree! Propositioned me the minute we were back in Atlantis.”

__Oh no he didn’t!_ _

“Ronon is into guys?” John stared in disbelief at his best friend.

Rodney laughed, “Ronon is into sex.”

“Okaaaay….Did you and Ronon ever?”

Rodney was scowling now, “Not that it’s any of your business Colonel Clueless, but no, we didn’t. Most Satedan soldiers were bisexual. It was very Spartan of them actually.”

John wanted to get to the heart of the matter and that surprised him. “Look Rodney, I just want to know why you never told me is all. Did you think--?”

Rodney smiled wanly, “No, I didn’t think you were homophobic John. I thought you knew. Really. At first I thought, he doesn’t know and then I thought he knows and didn’t care and then I thought he knows and doesn’t want me.”

__What? Where the hell did that come from?_ _

Rodney continued despite the fact that John’s mouth was hanging open in surprise. “And then I thought, okay maybe he’s just a flirt with everyone and it doesn’t mean anything. And then I pined for two years and then well then—I started to date women again.”

__Rewind please._ _

John was still gaping at him. “You aren’t going to let this ruin our friendship are you? I mean, Yakov is part of my past and even though he’s here for a short tour, I really don’t want to move backwards. I haven’t seen him in almost ten years and when I saw him, the feelings just snuck up on me. He means a lot to me but it’s not going to start up again. I told him that already.”

__Go back to that pining part again?_ _

Rodney took John’s silence and odd expression, as disgust and he frowned sadly. “Jesus John! I thought you’d be cooler about this! I understand that finding out that your best friend is bi and that he had a thing for you for years might be a shock but I never expected you to be so fucking judgmental! Not after all we’ve been through together. You know what COLONEL Sheppard? Fuck you!”

Rodney was up and out the door before John knew what hit him. He tore after him, shouting “Rodney! McKay! Rodney, STOP!” He ran down the stairs after him, ending up in the Gate Room again, managing to get in front of the sprinting physicist at the base of the grand staircase. “Rodney, please wait. We’re not done with this conversation!” He was out of breath and sweaty, which he noted was odd given it was not like he’d run a mile or anything.

“Fuck you John,” Rodney snarled again, and made a move to push past. He found himself shoved against the nearest vertical surface and held in place by powerful arms.

“Now who’s making a spectacle of himself eh?”

“I said, this conversation is not over!” John spit out, as he pushed Rodney harder against the wall. They were nose to nose now and Rodney was seriously pissed off.

“What? You’re going to punch me out for being queer? In the Gate Room. With 20 witnesses? The fuck you will!” He threw John off of him and round house kicked him to the ground in spectacular fashion.

__Where’d the fuck did Rodney learn that move?_ _

Rodney looked down at him, “Put me on report Colonel, I don’t give a shit, but you and I are done talking!”

John scissored his legs, and hooked them around Rodney’s left ankle, slamming him to the floor.

_Two can play at this Ninja game_

They tussled like schoolboys, rolling around the intricately tiled floor, until John had Rodney pinned down. He was panting heavily, “You ready to let me talk now?”

“Fuck you John.”

__Yes please_ _

“Yes please,” John heard himself whisper. “Fuck Rodney, yes please.”

Rodney laughed, “Are you telling me….?”

“What if I am?”

Rodney laughed again, his belly jiggling under John. “Well, I might have to do something highly improper in the Gate Room—again.”

They rolled again until Rodney was on top. He smiled his wide goofy grin, the one he usually reserved for ZPMs and Madison, “You’re an idiot of astronomical proportions, you know?”

John held his gaze and smiled shyly, “Yep. You gonna kiss me now McKay?”

Rodney answered with action, leaning down and gently kissing his best friend. John moaned and deepened the kiss, carding his fingers through Rodney’s rapidly diminishing hair and canting his hips upwards. Rodney pulled away slightly and chuckled as John chased his lips with his own.

“Whoa,” he breathed out.

“I’ll say,” John whispered and pulled Rodney in again.

They rolled around on the floor in a tangle of limbs. Before too long, the balcony was lined with onlookers. Finally Ronon shouted down, “Get a room Sheppard, for all our sakes!”

The two men separated then, and stared up at the spectators, far more unabashedly then John would later think the situation had warranted.

Suddenly a loud voice echoed around the room. “Is great job Radek, is it not? Our plan has been succeeded?” He laughed merrily, at the confusion on his former lover’s face.

“Rodney is confused,” Radek called from the other side of the staircase. “Wait, the light bulb will be on in second.”

“Buggers set us up!” Rodney said tightly, pulling John to his feet. “I’m sorry John.”

“I’m not!”

“But your career, your leadership?”

John kept hold of Rodney’s hand and cleared his throat loudly, waving with his free hand to signal silence from the giggling crowd. “Can I have your attention please?”

The crowd stilled and John spoke in a clear, authoritative voice. “This is the man I love. We are going to be together and that may not thrill the powers that be in Washington but this isn’t Earth and…”

John hated speeches so he was both surprised and grateful when the city erupted in applause and cheers.

“You love me?” Rodney whispered hoarsely.

“No Rodney, I always make out in the Gate Room.”

He squeezed Rodney’s hand and led him up the stairs, stopping to shake hands, hugging friends and colleagues alike and generally just lettinghimself _be._


End file.
